Do you kiss your supermodel wife with that mouth, Tom?
Yes, actually he does.
Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady lit up the Internet with his on-field heroics Sunday night — then kept the fire burning by kissing his dad.
On the lips.
Patriots shock Falcons to win Super Bowl LI in OT, 34-28
Like smack on the mouth.
Like “Get a room” style.
Now, it’s easy to condemn Brady’s affection — I’m tempted to say, “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to … ew!” — except that this kiss may be the single thing about Tom Brady that is 100% unobjectionable.
Let’s remember how loathsome Brady is:
Brady gets good luck kiss from mom night before Super Bowl LI
He’s a cheater.
He destroyed evidence during a probe into that cheating.
He’s a right-winger yet backs it up with nary a single intelligent thought.
He likes Uggs, which are ugly and the needy golden retriever of the footwear world.
Gisele Bündchen celebrates Tom Brady, Patriots’ Super Bowl win
He left a pregnant girlfriend to marry a supermodel.
He was once teammates with a guy who killed a man!
He eats avocado ice cream!
Even people who hate him later admit that he’s a nice guy — which makes people like us hate him more!
Tom Brady mocks Roger Goodell, flaunts rings, in commercial
But the kiss shows that Brady isn’t afraid to show affection, even to another man.
It’s not the first time he’s done this, of course. Brady is often photographed kissing his son Ben on the lips. And he has also kissed his father, Tom Sr., on the lips before.
What’s wrong with that? To some, plenty is wrong with that.
Parenting magazines have made a cottage industry of criticizing men who kiss their children on the lips, especially when the child is a boy.
Tom Brady suspects game-worn jersey was stolen
“Why Does a Dad Kissing His Son Make Us So Uncomfortable?” asked a writer for Babble a few years back, who concluded that the discomfort is partially our own homophobia.
Yeah, but where do you think homophobia comes from? It persists into the next generation because people like parenting magazine writers link affection between males as sex between males.
And, of course, the Daily Mail went the full hysteria route on father-son kissing, citing one psychologist who “argues it’s always wrong!”
(Full disclosure: It is not wrong. I’m a father of a 9-year-old boy who kisses his son on the lips at school drop-off even though I am a devout heterosexual.)
(Fuller disclosure: Some people probably think it’s weird, but I don’t care because when we make things weird, that’s when they actually become weird.)
(OK, final disclosure: I’m not really the greatest dad. Look, I’m really lax about a lot of things. Like nudity. The kids walk around the apartment naked sometimes. It’s really no big thing. And I don’t always keep the apartment clean or consistently give the kids a nourishing meal. But I love them. And I kiss them.)
So if you’re tempted to tweet nastiness at Tom Brady today, let’s stay on the high road and stick to the dozens of legitimate reasons to detest Tom Brady.
The fact that he kisses his dad is not one of them.
Send a Letter to the Editor