1. Clocks and Pocket Watches Sweater
Because you never know when your vintage Casio calculator watch might stop working.
3. Whale Sweater
Because carrying around your dog-eared copy of Moby Dick can be tiring.
4. Over-sized Geometric Sweater
Because nothing’s more hipster than a triangle.
5. Mickey and Minnie Mouse Sweater
Because the item description for this sweater must be the only time that the words “Disney” and “Sea Punk” have ever been used in the same sentence.
6. Taxi sweater
Because when you’ve had too much Four Loko and your fixed gear bike has been stolen from outside a Deerhunter show, it can be hard to remember how to get home. This sweater can help you.
7. Study Abroad Sweater
Because this sweater represents all the countries you say you’re going to study in. However, we all know that you’ll never leave Williamsburg.
8. The Next Day Sweater
Because this sweater reminds you of being in Atticus and Hudson’s loft apartment after their last party. It’s a knitted reminder of waking up on the floor, hungover, surrounded by four other passed-out hipsters.
9. Apple Sweater
Because it’s, like, a wearable Apple product.
10. The Hallucinogenic Sweater
Because the next time Clementine and Beatrix invite you to their apartment to take LSD, this sweater is going to make the experience about ten times more intense.
11. Eyeball Sweater
Because having this amount of eyes means you can watch the band, judge members of the audience on what they’re wearing AND check your Instagram all at once.
12. Horse Sweater
Because horses are the new fixed-gear bike.
13. Panda Sweater
Because pandas are like hipsters. They’re lazy vegetarians who like to lounge around a lot.
14. Native American Sweater
Because it’ll compliment your Native American headdress perfectly.
15. Maggie Simpson Sweater
Because it’s Maggie Simpson. On a sweater.
16. Hipster Kitty Sweater
Because hipsters love cats. So when a hipster finds a cat that’s wearing a fucking bow-tie and has adopted an expression of boredom mixed with hatred, it’s like the hipster has found itself… but in feline form.